Man: Wanted: Chapter Seven - Part Eleven

I went into the bathroom and locked the door.

My mind was all over the place. The strange detached memories intermingled with the true Alison emotional responses was throwing my equilibrium off. I didn’t know what to think or feel. I couldn’t handle it.

I snatched at the ring, ignoring the imperative to keep it on and pulled at it hard, ripping it up to the first joint. The fizzing started, then an intense pain followed that ran all the way up my arm. Doubt came in response to it but I pulled harder anyway, ignoring it. I had to think straight for a minute, I had to be myself. Seeing Billy had brought my inner self close enough to the surface to exert sufficient momentum to pull it off, and I did. I yanked the ring clear and tossed it onto the sink then shuddered and shuddered again as the flashes started.

I closed my eyes tightly and fell forward, grabbing for the edges of the porcelain. My back arched then my head lolled. Every muscle in my body strained. And then the last flash came and I was myself again; panting against the sink, trying to gather myself

It wasn’t like the other times when I’d changed back, with my masculine traits carrying over. The impact of Billy’s visit had churned my insides up enough to bring me right back to fore straight away. I fell back, bashed against the wall then slumped onto the edge of the bath; raised my head to look at my reflection.

My pretty woman’s face looked back at me, and seeing it brought a rush of Alison-memories; the corresponding pieces of the tale I'd just told Sangeeta. But these weren’t the objective memories of a concerned brother. These were the intense personal feelings for a potent love that had consumed everything around me and then suddenly burned away, leaving me cold and alone.

I didn’t get the memories in a natural progression as I normally would have. They pummelled me; overriding all sense of self for several minutes: the passion and desire; the laughter and love... and then the bitterness and regret; the abject need and total sense of loss.

I hadn’t allowed myself to even think about Billy for months because I had known how dismal the hole was that I’d plunge into if I did. I had longed for him to come to me and say the words he said tonight. I had yearned for it more than I had ever yearned for anything.

That he admitted some fault. That he was willing to put the difficult days behind us and start rebuilding. That he missed and loved me. Everything I'd ever wanted in a human being and that I’d lost, here again, offering everything to me.

But I thought of Sangeeta and a kind of despair crept over me. I could almost touch the bliss I'd felt with her in my arms earlier. And the feelings we had for one another were so different from those I’d had with Billy. Not as intense but... comfortable. It made me think of my grandparents and the love they had shared.

“Oh God,” I whispered. I didn’t know what to do.

I hung my head down to my knees and sat like that for several minutes, trying to think. Then I felt something odd and narrowed my eyes.

I sat up and looked down at my legs in the pedal pushers I’d put on that morning. Then I put my hands to my crotch and my eyes went wide.

“Oh no.”

I jumped up and stood in front of the mirror, then I snatched at the front of my pedal pushers and pulled them open tent-like; grabbed at the front of my panties.

I still had Geoff’s cock.

“God, no.” I gaped at it for a moment then I reached in and tentatively touched it.

It was real. It was a man’s cock and leading up from the pubes was a trail of hair that made its way up toward my belly button before petering out.

“Oh shit,” I whispered. “Oh shit me.”

It wasn’t a game of dress up anymore. It wasn’t me slipping on a man’s body for a couple of hours to get some chores done or to have a bit of fun and get away from my problems. This was really happening. It was really changing me, maybe permanently.

I realised then that I hadn’t been totally connected to what was happening to me. I was riding the lightning; letting it take me away from the loneliness and loss and the feelings of inadequacy I had facing the prospect of doing up the house; of making something of my battered career.

I hadn’t allowed myself to really consider the true ramifications of all this. Of course I hadn’t. Why else would I have put on the ring that second time?

But here were the ramifications, staring me right in the face. Here was my future if I wasn’t careful.

“I have to get out of here,” I murmured. “I have to get the hell out of this place.”

I put the king dong away and went to the door, listened, conscious of Sangeeta downstairs. I had no way to explain my sudden reappearance and Geoff’s vanishing act, but I couldn’t turn back now or ever again. I had to get out. I had to think things through. If I turned back now I might never manage to get the ring off again and by the time I did it might have changed me even more.

I could only hope that staying a woman for a day or two would reverse the physical changes and put me back how I was meant to be.

I thought of Billy and of the name of that pub he was staying in and got the urgent need to go there right away. I’d been drinking but the change back seemed to have stripped away much of the inebriation. I felt clear-headed, though wired and edgy; slightly out of control.

At the top of the stairs I halted, looking down. If I could just slip out without being seen...

I started down, but at the half way point where the stairs flattened, Sangeeta stepped out of the lounge doorway and looked straight up at me, disarmed by my sudden appearance.

“Oh! Alison. I didn’t realise you were in. When did you get back?”

I halted, caught in the act, then went on down. “Not long ago,” I said. “I didn’t want to disturb you two so I went straight upstairs.”

“Where is Geoff? Did he tell you your ex-husband called round?”

I stopped on the third step from the bottom. “Yeah. He... He did. That’s why I’m going out.” I passed her and went towards the door.

“Are you going to go after him? I know the name of his hotel. It isn’t far from my place.”

“Geoff told me,” I said. “The Old Squire.”

“That’s it.”

“Are you going to go and see him?”

I looked back at her then gave a brief nod. “I think so.”

“Well be careful Ali,” replied Sangeeta. “Geoff told me a little bit about it and... just look after your heart. You’ve only got the one.”

I smiled at her and nodded then I went out, not even bothering to close it behind me.