Man: Wanted - Chapter Six - Part Five

I called into the big Tesco on Ockham trading estate on the way home, feeling a little down. I walked round half-heartedly, shoving food in my trolley: healthy food, not the red meat extravaganza that was Geoff’s usual fare. Each time I put something new in I felt even more despondent.

I paused with a pack of lentils in my hand, sneering down at the bland little lens-shaped seeds. Then I dutifully shoved them into the trolley and walked on.

I paid at the checkout then loaded up the car and drove out.

Ockham was a big industrial shopping centre with loads of huge big-name shops, a cinema multiplex, a whole bunch of restaurants and a couple of expansive gyms. It ran straight through from the dual carriageway to the upper ring road that cut along the bottom of the south hillside, hugging the edge of Chauncy and Lockwood. Towards the back there was a small industrial estate and I slowed when I saw a sign that said Autoparts. I dropped down to about five miles an hour and signalled right to turn into the estate.

I knew they had a scrap yard at the back. It was possible they had an old Morris Minor I could scrounge some parts for, for when I was doing up my dad’s old—

“God damn it!”

I turned off the indicator and drove on irritably. I’d really been looking forward to that then, but no, it was another part of Geoff’s life that wasn’t open to me. It was just a shadow left by the last change. I wasn’t really interested in doing up old cars and I didn’t want to be.

I went round the roundabout and took the third exit up the hill. Traffic was light at least. The upper ring got horribly snarled during rush hour. They should have built it with two lanes.

Two roundabouts down I made a left into Chauncy and drove up to the centre where the shops and pub were. My road was the steepest off the mini-roundabout there next to the swimming pool. I took it and drove the rest of the way home.

I slammed the van door overloudly and grumped round to the front, glancing briefly across at John and Debbie’s house. Being Saturday, both cars were there, one in the drive and one in the road. Again I had a compulsion to call round; maybe take a four pack of beers with me, but I didn’t. They were Geoff’s friends, not mine.

I banged the front door shut after me instead and dumped my stuff in the hall. I put the frozen food away, flipped the switch on the kettle then slumped into a chair in the lounge.

The list of things needing doing in the house was hanging over me; half finished jobs I’d left incomplete in my masculine days. I tried to put them out of my mind. I folded my arms and crossed my legs. I went to fetch my coffee and came back, burning my tongue on the first sip.

“Shit.”

I didn’t need my life as a man. I wasn’t happier as Geoff. I had been perfectly fine before that ring came into my life.

I burnt my tongue a second time, put the mug down and crossed my arms again. I picked up a magazine then threw it angrily back when I saw it was a sports one I’d bought as Geoff. I went across to the magazine rack and sifted through until I found a copy of Cosmo then sat again, flicking the pages sharply back and back and back and back before I set it next to my coffee mug, none of the articles touched.

What frustrated me most was that I didn’t know why I’d even bought that ring. I didn’t like rings normally. If it was fate or something – if I’d found the ring because I’d been meant to, then what was the point? So I was a loser as myself with no career and no motivation! So what? If there was a lesson to learn then I wasn’t seeing it.

Yes, I had more prospects as Geoff; more friends; a sex life; a career! So what? I wasn’t a man and I didn’t want to be one!

I crossed my legs the other way, went to have another sip of coffee and thought better of it.

I should have let Sangeeta put the ring on. That would have been interesting.

I relaxed a little. That would have been very interesting.

I settled into the armchair, imagining what could have happened. Would she have become a dishy Indian man with jet black hair and gorgeous eyes... or would she have turned into Geoff?

I could picture Geoff quite clearly but of course I’d only ever seen him in the mirror. I tried to alter that image to imagine him here in the room with me now. I closed my eyes to make it easier. I pictured him standing by the window but with Sangeeta inside of him instead of me and right away I got a warm sexual tingling.

Geoff wasn’t like any of the men I’d been with, but since becoming him, my mind had opened to that different kind of man: the practical kind; good with his hands; broad as a barn; huge shoulders and muscular arms; strong hands. I smiled to myself, uncrossing my legs and stroking my inner thigh.

I imagined that Sangeeta had put on the ring and turned into Geoff and he was taking my upper arms in his hands and lowering his face to mine. In the fantasy I kissed him and he folded my entire back within his embrace, raising me onto my toes.

I heard something outside that distracted me; just a car horn blaring, nothing important. I ignored it and sank back into the fantasy.

I was kissing Sangeeta, gripping her tightly in my big manly hands, then I lifted her easily into my arms and carried her up the stairs, looking down into her glittering eyes and smiling face.

I stroked my crotch through the front of my pedal-pushers, letting out a faint moan.

In the fantasy I set Sangeeta on the bed and slowly unbuttoned my shirt, watching her slip the straps of her dress off her shoulders as my erection grew. I undid my jeans and kicked them off then climbed onto the bed and—

“Wait a minute.”

I opened my eyes and sat up, feeling jarred to jump out of the imagined scene so suddenly. I stared off for a minute, realising what I’d done and then got up angrily.

“For God’s sake! I’m sick of this!”

A final flash came of me climbing over Sangeeta’s beautiful form as Geoff and then I gave a brief and frenzied cry of rage.

“Alright! I get the point! Fine!” I charged back through to the hall where I’d left my handbag and picked it up, tipping it upside down on the top of the drawers. The contents went everywhere but I didn’t care. I scrabbled through them until I saw the ring then I grabbed it up.

“I get that I’m pathetic and I don’t have any friends! I get that the only person I’ve been attracted to for months is another woman! If you’re so desperate for me to be a man then here! Your wish is granted!”

Man: Wanted - Chapter Six - Part Four

Sangeeta and I finished our lunch (in which I tried to explain away my hair blunder without mentioning my magic ring and the fact I was secretly her boyfriend) then we went for a wander, slowly working our way back toward the furthest reach of the shopping centre where her salon was. She laughed hysterically as I described my cutter’s remorse that morning and my frantic attempts to make myself look half presentable.

We just went on chatting and pretty rapidly we weren’t two uncomfortable people with agendas, we were just two friends passing the time and enjoying ourselves. She talked all about India and growing up there as a little girl. I told her about my failing business.

We went into the doorway of a boutique to try on a hat I fancied that I thought might complement my hairdo. We ended up trying on half a dozen each – half of them totally awful. It was funny as hell! Sangeeta insisted on buying one, no matter how much I tried to persuade her how bad it looked. I’m sure she was doing it to wind me up.

We wandered. And I started to have those feelings again about her: just a general pleasure of her company, no matter who I was, but also a faintly disturbing physical attraction. I didn’t even think it was a throwback to my time as Geoff. She was just very pretty and a really cool person.

We walked round the corner and I actually felt quite disappointed that she was going to have to go back to work, but the fun wasn’t over quite yet.

Rasheed was outside the salon, hands cupped round his face as he peered inside, presumably thinking she was hiding from him.

Sangeeta said something in her native tongue that sounded like a curse word. She stopped and put her fists on her hips. “Rasheed?”

Embarrassed to have been caught, he faced us and came closer. “Sangeeta. There you are. I was looking for you.”

“Well... What do you want?”

“I thought we could eat together.”

“Rasheed—” That first word came out fast like the tap of a hammer, but her next words were slow. “We’ve discussed this before. I’m sorry you’ve gone to the trouble of making this trip, and I appreciate that you really believe that you have my best interests at heart. I know you’re a good man and maybe if things had been different we’d have hit it off naturally. But things aren’t different.” She sighed. “I’m trying to get through to you that right now, you and I aren’t going to happen.”

“I’ve talked to your father,” he said. “On the telephone.”

“Rasheed...”

“He’s coming here.”

“What?” Sangeeta stood there, flabbergasted. “Here here? Nockton Vale?”

“He thinks he will arrive the day after tomorrow.”

Sangeeta clearly didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t string words together. And Rasheed had such a smug expression on his face. I simply saw red.

“Do you really think that’s going to win her heart?” I said, stepping forward. “Seriously? Stalking her; following her; muscling your way into her flat and her affairs; making her feel uncomfortable – that wasn’t enough? You think telling tales to her father and dragging him all the way here from India is going to make her fall in love with you? Really?”

He gave me a sullen glare, obviously resenting my interference, and said, “Marriage can come first. Love will follow later.”

I looked at Sangeeta. “Is he serious?” I glared at him and strode closer. “Get out of here! Go on! Stay the hell away from my friend!”

He backed up, unsure of my intentions but I kept on coming and he had to fall back or let me slam into him.

“Go on! Get out of here! She doesn’t want to see you! She doesn’t like you and she sure as fuck doesn’t want to marry you!”

Rasheed gave Sangeeta a pointed look then slunk off while I strode after him, calling him names. I was furious!

When I returned to Sangeeta she was unlocking the door to her Beauty Bower and I suddenly hit myself with a crack of guilt. Instantly that righteous momentum dissipated and I said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have interfered. It’s none of my business.”

“No. I’m grateful,” she replied. “It’s nice to have you to take my side.” She gave a brief smiling chuckle. “You and Geoff aren’t that different.” I frowned. She saw it and laughed. “You shouldn’t feel bad. That valiant-defender side to him is what first attracted me.”

She stood, holding the door but something had shifted. The former discomfort was back. I wasn’t sure if it originated with me or her but I could see her acknowledgment of it in her face.

“I’d better be going,” I said.

“Sure. Okay.” She paused. “Tell Geoff...”

I waited.

“Just tell him to give me a call. If he wants.” She shrugged. “I’ll seeya.”

“Yeah,” I replied, feeling uncertain about so many things. “Seeya.”

Man: Wanted - Chapter Six - Part Three

In Nocton Vale the River Mead ran down the north wall of the valley, hugging the border of Barton and keeping the riff-raff in before it slurped slightly south and ran along the edge of the town centre and then slunk off west. Tower Gates was part of the massive Riverside development that had taken place over the last ten years, but only a part. A great deal of land had been claimed back from the river that had formerly been mud flats and marshland at the back of Barton Mills.

Now there were dozens of shining glass buildings overlooking the water: the overpriced apartments of Winterbank and the plush new office buildings of Meadside. Next came Tower Gates, whose food court had balconies overlooking the river on the third floor as well as a couple of more subtle cafes on the ground. Beyond that was Bycastle, the old town, and then open country as the river trundled on.

Sangeeta and I got some baguettes in the nicer of those little river-front cafes and went to have them alfresco on the decking platform that sat on stilts just over the edge of the water.

The river was at its widest point here and the sunshine glittered on the ripples the rocks just under the surface made. It was deeper on our side and a much darker colour. Up the hillside on the other bank, nestled amongst the evergreens, were the grandiose and exclusive houses of Pinecrest. They were infinitely out of my price range but I occasionally peered up there whistfully.

I was gazing up there now but when I turned to face Sangeeta I saw she was studying me and I felt caught on the hoof. I tried a smile on her but it felt false.

“So...” she said.

“Yeah. I blushed again.

“So on Thursday, when you came in and had your nails done, was that really a coincidence?”

“Er...” The question caught me completely off guard. My mind went blank.

“Or did Geoff tell you about me and you decided to – I don’t know – come and check me out?”

What was a more plausible response? I gave her a squinting worried-looking grin and said, “Busted?”

Sangeeta responded with a playfully stern glare. “I suspected as much.”

The conversation kind of hung and we both just ate our baguettes for a minute, then eventually Sangeeta lowered hers and released a little sigh.

“Will you be straight with me?”

I squirmed inside then said, “Yes. Okay. I guess.”

“What is going on between me and Geoff? Do you know? What you told me last night... Was that really...?”

“How Geoff feels?” I shrugged.

“You said you misrepresented him.”

“Yeah. I think I did.”

I just had no idea where this was going. I was scared to come out with the words I wanted to, but was just as reluctant not to. And I’d always been too impulsive.

“So...?”

“He.... I... It’s hard to say.” I took another bite of my baguette to give me thinking time.

“Because I do like him,” she said. What I told you the other day: that was true. About it feeling like a fairy tale? I like him. I’ve said it. And I know he likes me; but I’m getting these mixed signals from him and from you and now I have no idea and things are going bad for me here in Nockton Vale and then there’s Rasheed...”

I touched her arm briefly. “What’s going bad? Your business?”

She looked into the sky then back to me and her eyes had become moist. Seeing that brought a smear of tears to my own eyes.

“Just put me out of my misery,” said Sangeeta. “Is Geoff interested or am I wasting my time, because right now he’s about the only good thing going for me.”

I pressed my lips together and frowned then before I could stop myself I said, “Yes. Of course he is.”

Of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be? I was almost in love with her myself, even as a woman. In either persona we just seemed to perfectly click.  And that frightened me.

She gave a little chuckle, a teardrop streaming down each cheek, then she wiped at her eyes. “I must look like an idiot.”

“Not at all.”

“I only just met the guy.”

“Here,” I said. “I have a tissue somewhere.” I rooted through my handbag, putting contents out on the table. “Somewhere. Yeah, here.” I gave it to her and sat while she dabbed at her eyes, wanting to do nothing if not put my arm round her.

“Thanks.” She lowered the tissue, handing it me back. “Is that Geoff’s ring?”

“What?”

She reached onto the table where the contents of my bag lay and picked up the ring from where I’d dumped it without even noticing. “Yeah. This is Geoff’s. It is made of stone. I wasn’t sure. I’ve never seen that before.”

“Er...” I didn’t know what to do. I felt possessive and afraid for it, despite my highly conflicted feelings on the subject.

Sangeeta held it up between forefinger and thumb, peering at me through the hole. “It’s nice.” Are you getting it cleaned for him or something?”

“Uh, yeah. Something like that.”

“I wonder if it will fit me.” She slipped it over the end of her first finger.

I jerked in my seat, reaching forward.

But Sangeeta snapped it off immediately. “Ow!” She smiled. “I just got a static shock off it.”

“Here, let me see,” I said, taking it off her as quickly as I could while still seeming to be natural about it. I shrugged. “Feels normal for me.” I dropped it quickly into my bag, my pulse pounding to imagine what would have happened if she’d put it all the way on.

Sangeeta had some more of her baguette and again we ate quietly, my mind sparking along the possibilities. Would she have changed into an Indian man? Or would she have turned into Geoff?

That was kind of staggering to imagine.

“So, what’s... What’s the story on that guy who came round my house last night? Rasheed was it?”

“Don’t ask. He’s the man my father wants me to marry. The last in a long line.”

“But you don’t want him?”

She looked thoughtful. “He’s not a bad man. Just a bit pushy. We get on fine when he isn’t trying to get into my life.”

“But...?”

“But... he is trying to get into my life. That’s the problem. And if he doesn’t take no for an answer now...”

“What would it be like marrying him?”

“Exactly.”

I slurped a mouthful of Diet Coke up my straw.

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” said Sangeeta.

I tried to hide my discomfort. “Okay. Sure. If you want.”

She looked at me very plainly. “What on Earth did you do to your hair?”

I stared back at her for a second then we both burst out laughing.

Man: Wanted - Chapter Six - Part Two

Obviously I didn’t stay and work on the house. I think I’d accepted finally that it was never going to happen. Who was I kidding?

Instead I drove into town in the dickmobile, barely able to get a proper view over the steering wheel and simply dazzled by its deplorable turning circle. Driving it was like wrestling a bear, complete with the growling. Normally when I drove round, if I was lucky, I’d get a few stares, maybe a couple of waves; occasionally a wolf whistle. Riding inside this purpose-built phallic symbol on wheels just rated smirks; maybe a disapproving shake of the head.

I drove into the multi-storey and pulled into a parking bay overlooking the park. Of my many mottos, “If in doubt, shop” was pretty high on the list. And I certainly needed some new clothes.

I toyed briefly again with seeking out the stall I’d bought the ring from but headed instead onto the high street. I worked my way round the clothes shops there for a while then went into Tower Gates. When I was trying on clothes it was actually quite fresh and new. The new hairstyle meant I had to take a different approach and that freshened things up for me nicely. Breaking into the cash my silent partner had made from his plastering job, I bought myself a range of new dresses and some reasonably priced and very flattering jewellery.

It was fun.

It was great to have plenty of cash to spend again. And of course this brought thoughts of compromise into my mind. It was just a shame that I was worried about the man-ring taking over my life. If it didn’t alter my way of thinking so much and I could trust it not to doom me to a testosterone-fuelled fate then it was blatantly clear how useful it was. I wished it just changed me enough to bring the cash in and solve my problems and then gave me back the urge to be a woman.

And of course the social implications were dizzying.

I drove it from my mind, and as I did so I realised where my ramblings had, inevitably, brought me.

Sangeeta’s Beauty Bower.

And no sooner did I stop and realise that I’d been all but compelled to come this way than the door opened and Sangeeta backed out wearing a pretty vermillion coat over her uniform. I gave a jerk to my right that might almost have led to a gangly run but I was too much in the open. She was going to see me either way. With nothing better to do I just stood there gaping at her, my cheeks flushed bright red, looking exactly like I was a creepy girl-stalker, as she turned to face me.

Her face fell two feet when we made eye contact. I was only about six yards away. There was this awful silence and physical hesitation, like she too wanted to flee but was unsure how to.

I started to speaking. “Sangeeta, I was—” but she raised her hand to say stop and started walking off.

“Don’t bother.”

I watched her go past, revolving my body like it was on a turntable. When she was three quarters past, her back almost completely to me, I said, “Sangeeta, wait. I’m sorry.”

She kept moving until I reached the word “sorry.” Then she stopped, but she didn’t turn back.

“I’m really sorry I was such a cow yesterday,” I said.

She lowered her head then she raised it again and looked back at me. We just looked at one another then she said, “It isn’t your fault if Geoff got you to do his dirty work.”

... which made me feel awful; partly because I’d caused heartache to this lovely woman but also, paradoxically, that I’d stabbed “Geoff” in the back.

“I may have... misrepresented his intentions... a little.” I said.

Sangeeta frowned in mock suspicion. “Misrepresented?”

What the hell was I doing?

I shrugged one shoulder. “I... He... Look, can I buy you lunch?”

She gave a blink of surprise. “Are you serious?”

My cheeks reddened further. “Yeah. I just... I feel bad about what happened and I... want to explain – tell you what I should have said.”

Sangeeta looked at her watch then very hesitantly said, “Okay. Sure. I guess. I was just going for a wrap from Tesco but... if you’re paying.”

I brightened. “Let’s go,” I said. “There a lovely little cafe overlooking the river.”

“I know it...”

“My treat,” I said. “Really.”

She turned that way and I walked alongside her.

And I had absolutely no idea what on earth I was thinking.

Man: Wanted (The new name for Workman): Chapter Six - Part One

Sisters

1

This time when I woke up there was a “bloody hell” moment.

In fact there was a “what the fuck?” moment.

I opened my eyes, rolled onto my back and gave out a long sigh, then I sat up, running my hand through my hair. The minute – the second I felt that short man’s cut my eyes bugged out and I let out a shriek as the memory came back to me of what I’d done.

I sprang off the bed and ran to the mirror, gaping in denial at what I was seeing.

I remembered everything about my thought processes at the time and what I’d done to myself but between then and a good night’s sleep that blundering masculinity that had chased me back into my female form was gone without trace. I no longer felt uncomfortable in my own skin in the least but that meant the full horror of this disfiguring hairstyle hit me like a bullet.

I looked awful! My hair had been one of my best features! Now I looked like I was a sixteen year old boy! This was terrible!

I grasped at my head, touching it – feeling just what I’d done to myself.

I simply couldn’t believe it.

I sat on the bed, just staring into the mirror, trying to get my head round it. I sat there for forty minutes before I had to get up, and only did then because I needed the loo.

I went into the bathroom and lowered the front of the boxer shorts I’d worn to bed, reaching in to pull out my penis. For a split second I was perplexed as to where the hell it was, then cursing to myself, I sat down instead, vowing to get rid of the ring the first chance I got.

By the time I emerged from the bathroom, post-shower, I’d made a decision to at least try and make this look good. I had a long neck and pretty features. With the right clothes and make-up I could still pull this off.

Hopefully.

With a towel wrapped round my chest, I took a deep breath and opened the wardrobe, knowing that all my female clothes were gone but trying to be optimistic about what I could salvage from “Geoff’s” stuff.

I was presently surprised to find several female garments. I couldn’t be sure if I’d missed them in my masculine zeal the night before or whether the length of time I’d spent in my rightful body had started shunting the men’s clothes back to their female equivalents.

From the slim pickings I took a pair of pedal-pushers and a sleeveless top that grabbed my cleavage and shouted “Here I am!” With the addition of a wonderbra the ensemble worked magic for my abject femininity. I went to work with hair wax, teasing licks out into as spunky an image as I could manage, then followed that up with make-up.

By the time I was done I’d gone to so much extra trouble I probably looked better than normal. It was kind of funny. I never would have chosen that style in a million years of normal days but it actually complemented my features. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

I frowned, wondering where I’d left the ring.

I found it and carried it downstairs on my open palm. My handbag was in the hall. I went over to it, took another look at the ring then dropped it in.

I went outside to check the damage on my clothes. It was worse than I thought.

The bin men had been.

All my beautiful outfits on their way to the dump mixed in with the whole street’s garbage.

“What a drag.”

I scrutinised the house, then I scrutinised the empty bin. Then I scrutinised the ridiculous van I’d traded my sweet little car in for.

Lady Ann's Holiday: Chapter Thirty Four - Part Eight

Burt worked extra hard for the rest of the afternoon, trying to make up for the time lost down on the bank of the river. He felt guilty that he’d neglected his duties and was determined to do right by his promise to the Earl.

When he was done he wandered down the lane into Griply and popped into the Dog & Pony. Jeb was in there, railing against losing his post as groom up at the hall. Burt had himself a chuckle over that, ordering a pint.

Mavis was tending bar and gave him a dirty snog once she’d poured his drink. Burt grinned at her and settled onto one of the tables with some of his mates.

The beer was delicious and he sank back into his seat, enjoying the rosy glow that spread into his tired limbs.

It had been a right good day, from the attention Mavis had given him in bed, to getting his job back as a groom, to enjoying Lady Ann being home, to being called a man of the world by Lord Hurley, to just doing another honest day’s work and getting a well-deserved bevvy in at his favourite watering hole.

His life certainly was elegantly simple now. He knew exactly where he stood and that was the way he liked it.

He could even consider…

Hmmm.

He took a long swig of his beer, letting it make its way down into his belly as he chewed it over.

Yes.

He could even consider trying another day, remaining as himself, just enjoying having Lady Ann around – just trying on for size the idea of staying that way forever.

Course he was worried about what would happen if she left to live with Lord Hurley… but maybe she could take him with her to look after her horse. 

Burt took another draught of beer and closed his eyes, smiling to himself, imagining what it would be like to go on serving Lady Ann for the rest of his days.

Lady Ann's Holiday: Chapter Thirty Four - Part Seven

Ann walked back into the hall, still laughing to herself. She couldn’t get over how enjoyable it was to treat Burt in exactly the same way as she had been treated in his place; and the toadying sycophant had seemed to actually enjoy it!

She laughed even louder.

She didn’t bother to seek out Richard. There was plenty of time for that later. Instead she went up to her room and took out the box with the pendant inside. She just wanted to look at it for a moment, that was all.

Taking the key from round her neck she unlocked it and placed the pendant in her palm. Touching it had no effect now. She examined it in detail, tracing the curving sigils with her fingertip, astounded by the power of such an innocuous object to effect such change.

She wondered what to do with the thing. If she chose to swap back then she supposed the restored Lady Ann would take ownership, but if she remained who she was then it would be up to her. Should she dispose of it or keep it hidden away? Might she ever want to use it again? What might happen if someone else got their hands on it? What might occur if someone with darker designs or mischief in mind had it in their power?

She held it up, thinking about that, then started in surprise when her door pushed open.

“Ann?”

Her new father, the Earl, stood in the doorway.

Unsure what else to do with it and worried the Earl would make enquiries, Ann dropped the pendant on its chain about her neck.

“Do you have a minute?”

“Of course father,” she said. “Come in.”

The Earl entered. “I haven’t had much chance to talk to you since your return. I’m sure your mother has said how glad we are to see you well and so happy.”

“Thank you father. I am very well and very happy.”

“And glad I hope that I decided to follow your advice and let that idiot stable hand go free?”

She smiled. “Yes. Thank you. I am glad. He cares for my horse very well and good help is hard to find.”

“Quite right,” replied the Earl, running his hand back across his bald head. “Your mother’s seen fit to order new servants for the hall. There will be havoc while they stumble about learning the proper way that things should be done.”

Ann laughed. “I’m sure you’ll get through it. But thank you for what you did for the stable hand.”

“Damned expensive business,” huffed the Earl. “I had to pay to set up the trial so quickly and then pay again to persuade the magistrate to let him off. I’d have done better to give him a hundred lashes and forget the gaol term altogether.” He gave a brief throaty chuckle. “If that wasn’t bad enough I’ve been summoned to York. Some upstart MP wishing to remind me of the proper way of dealing with criminals! Me!” He shook his head. “I’ll tell him exactly what I think of that.”

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow. But I’ll only be gone overnight. It’s nothing.” He laughed it off. “Let me look at you.” He drew her up from the bed by the hand and clasped each of her shoulders. “I’m so very proud of you Ann. This Richard of yours has impeccable character and is richer than the good Lord himself.” He guffawed. “You’re going to be very happy.”

He pulled her in for a hug and Ann’s eyes gaped in horror, realising what was about to happen – the pendant stuck between them, resting on her chest.

She squirmed, twisting her body and managed to duck out from under his arms just before contact was made.

“What the devil’s the matter Ann? I was only going to hug you.”

“Nothing father, sorry,” she said hurriedly. “I’ve just… been coming down with a cold and I didn’t want you to risk catching it, especially with your trip tomorrow.”

“Hmmm. Well. Yes. That’s probably wise.” He thought for a moment. “Very well, I’ll take my leave and see you at dinner.”

“Thank you father. I’m so glad you approve of the choices I’ve made.”

The Earl smiled and left the room and Ann slumped onto the bed, her heart pounding. That had been entirely too close! To just imagine the horror of trading places with the Earl! She couldn’t think of anything worse!

Breathing unevenly, she quickly removed the pendant and put it back in its case and locked it away.

She had no intention of letting that sort of thing ever happen again!

Lady Ann's Holiday: Chapter Thirty Four - Part Six

Ann was relaxing in the garden when she saw Richard and Burt returning across the fields. She waited until they got close and then walked down toward the stable to catch them, but when she got there she found that Richard must have spied her too and cut up the other way to the back gardens to meet her there. Burt was approaching alone.

She wondered about whether to go straight back up to the house but recalled her intention to toy with Burt and hung on instead.

Burt looked uncomfortable as soon as he saw her and slowed his approach. “Afternoon m’lady.” With his arms full he couldn’t doff his cap but he nodded his head deferentially.

Ann smiled to herself. “That fishing equipment looks awfully heavy Burt.”

“Aye miss. That it is.”

“You must be very strong to be able to carry it so easily.”

Burt flushed bright red, pleasure spreading instantly around his nether regions as he gaped back at her.

“You’re very hard working,” said Ann. “I bet you do almost all the work around here.”

“Er, yes miss,” stammered Burt, feeling confused but also happy and excited.

Seeing his discomfort and elation, Ann almost burst out laughing in his face but managed to hold back from doing so. Instead she decided to push the cruel flirtation still further.

“I’m not surprised: a strong man like you. You’re so terribly masculine and muscular.”

Burt practically came in his trousers as his face turned darker and darker shades of red. It was almost exactly like his fantasies. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her but he didn’t dare and he was still loaded down with the fishing equipment.

“You’ve been taking excellent care of my Rosebud while I’ve been away,” said Ann.

“Yes m’lady. O’course. I always do.”

She smiled and then turned the smile instantly into a grimace of fury. “Then why did you leave her out when I returned from my ride? Why isn’t she put away now?”

Burt jerked at the anger, paralysed with panic. “I’m sorry m’lady. I was elping Lord Hurley with—”

“I don’t want to hear excuses about why you’re shirking your post.” She pointed. “Get over there now and see to it that she is put away properly. That horse is worth ten times more to me than you are. I want her cared for suitably, is that clear?”

“Yes miss. Sorry miss.” Burt hurried to the stable entrance and quickly put down the fishing things, rushing to untie the horse where she had left it.

Ann grinned, watching him scurry, relishing the power she had over the filthy buffoon “Well quickly then,” she snapped, enjoying the pulse of speed he put into his actions.

But as he got to the stable door again, this time leading the horse, Ann stopped him. “Oh Burt…”

He paused and looked across at her. “See that you do a good job, for goodness sake.”

He bobbed his head.

She made her voice warm, almost seductive. “If you do it well then I will be very, very grateful Burt. I want you to take care of that horse as though you were taking care of me.”

Burt gaped at her as she turned her back and walked away giggling to herself.

He couldn’t believe the way she’d spoken to him; but he’d loved it. After waiting for so long to see her again it was glorious to actually be speaking to her. He didn’t mind being talked down to – he was used to that and it was only proper. And she’d also said such nice things to him. He led Rosebud inside, his chest buzzing with contentment, running back what she’d said to him in his mind.

He’d been right to try one day out as Burt with Lady Ann as his mistress and it hadn’t disappointed him so far. He loved this dynamic in their relationship. He longed for the following day when he might see her again. He hoped she would treat him in exactly the same way.

Lady Ann's Holiday - The Complete Novel is Now Out!!!!!

For those who don't know, while I was working on writing the web serial of Lady Ann, I and several test readers have been reading and rereading what I've written so far.

I've looked at all the feedback and made LOADS of improvements as I've gone along. So now there is a Master version of Lady Ann that is quite different from what you might have read.

The bulk of the novel remains untouched (just cleared of most of the typos) but I have made a huge number of improvements...

1) It is about four chapters longer.

2) The opening chapters in particular are significantly more detailed. This covers before the pendant is found, how it's found, the change itself and the first day or so afterwards.

These are all massively expanded.

3) Throughout the rest of the book I've expanded scenes and added in new ones to greater explore the decline of "Burt's" situation and the rise of "Ann's."

LALs (Lady Ann Lovers) will notice loads and loads of differences! 

4) I have expanded all the sex scenes - to a satisfying but not gratuitous degree.

5) I have woven in a LOT of extra detail to foreshadow THINGS TO COME. Ann and Burt's story reaches a satisfying conclusion but I can reveal here that I have already outlined TWO sequels! The mischief of the pendant is far from over in Griply Valley. The extended version of the book lays a lot of groundwork for that, introducing characters and locations that will be crucial in the overall trilogy.

6) There are previews of other upcoming books.

7) There's an afterword giving searing insight into the thinking behind the book.

8) And best of all, you get to find out what happens at the end before anyone else!

When I was writing it, even I didn't know what was going to happen at the end until I wrote it. The characters decided for me.


Lady Ann's Holiday is available in Kindle or Kobo format as ebooks and also available in paperback.

I have to say, Amazon are charging the earth for the paperback (because the book is over 600 pages long!) but I for one can't wait to hold it in my hands.

The ebook is very cheap indeed.

I'll write more about it in a day or so but for now, here are the links to go and check it out:

Paperback 

Kindle 

Kobo 

And please do leave a review if you do get and like it!

And tell all your friends!

(Grins hopefully)