Workman: Chapter Five - Part Three

Playing rugby was awesome.

After watching it with the other blokes the night before it was great fun to be part of the action and it was really gloriously violent!

As a girl; as Alison; I’d played a bit of badminton; some netball at school; nothing like this! And when I had played sport I’d always hung around like a wet blanket rather than getting really stuck in.

I ran up the park, yelling for a pass, diving into tackles like I had no fear of anything. It was amazing! The other blokes were a right laugh, pissing about half the time but also really going for it.

I stopped at the edge of the pitch we’d marked out to catch my breath and watched the rest of them running back and forth, then I dove back in, hurling myself round the legs of the guy on the other team who had the ball. He fell flat on his face and let go of it and John hooked it up and ran the rest of the way to the goal line.

The bloke I’d dropped rolled over cursing and laughing and I helped him up, offering my hand to shake. “No hard feelings?”

“Course not,” he said. “Wouldn’t want to risk another one of those tackles.”

We chuckled and went on playing.

When we finally broke John cracked open a box of beers from the boot of his car and handed them round (to a cheer).

I was really thirsty so I chugged mine back pretty fast while we chatted about the game and the match on TV the night before. It was totally different from the kind of conversations I normally had – unrestrained. Girl talk was unrestrained at times – it wasn’t that – but this was something else. There was an alternative camaraderie here that didn’t show up in groups of women. It was rawer. Primal maybe. But good.

“John was telling me you do plastering.” It was the bloke I’d tackled; Steve.

I nodded.

“What else do you do?”

I took a swig of beer, thinking again about the way I’d made myself a plasterer by telling John that I was. Was that really how it worked? Could I do the same again? What if I really went for it?

“You name it,” I said, running everything of that ilk that I could think of through my head and out onto my tongue. “Brick laying, painting and decorating, electrics, gas, central heating, plumbing; most everything.”

I drank some more beer and as I did I could almost feel the knowledge of those things settling into my head, like I was really determining the kind of man I was by saying it. But I wasn’t just giving myself skills and knowledge. I had the feeling it went a lot deeper than that. I suspected I was actually altering who I was in terms of personality and desires. I wasn’t just learning how to do the work, I was actually becoming a workman and taking on the character traits of a man who would choose and excel at that career.

“Do you have your own business?”

I shrugged. “Only moved here recently.” I glanced at John.

“Well if he can do everything else as well as he did my plastering then he’ll make a mint round here with all the old houses,” he said. “You should set up a business and get some money in.”

I tipped my can at him and nodded.

“Well I’ve got a gas boiler that needs looking at,” said Steve. “If you’re looking for work then I could use you; if you as good as John reckons.”

I considered it.

“You should take him up on the offer,” said John. “You’ll get cash rolling in. You’ll be able to do your own house up at leisure.”

“I don’t know...” I said. “I wasn’t planning...”

“To what? Help out your neighbours and earn lots of cash? You need a business manager mate,” said John. “He’ll take the job,” he told Steve. “When do you want it done?”

Steve shrugged. “Soon as.”

“Tomorrow?” said John.

“Hey wait a minute,” I said.

They both chuckled. “Wait for what?” asked John. “You’re doing it.”

I was tempted... It would be money coming in and if I could get a steady string of work then I could really turn things round. It didn’t mean I was choosing to stay a man for the rest of my life but I could change each day to earn the cash then swap back in the evenings – no harm, no foul.

I shrugged. “What the hell,” I said. “I’m in. How’s tomorrow afternoon for you?”

“Sounds perfect,” said Steve.

“There,” said John. “I’ve just solved all your problems for you.”