IN NOCKTON VALE - Man: Wanted - Final Chapter - Part Four

Sangeeta looked just as beautiful as she ever had but the expression on her face was one I had never seen before, constructed from mistrust and doubt and scepticism, and maybe a little righteous anger.

She was hesitant in her approach, eyes flitting from me to Billy and back again, but she put one foot in front of the other then did it again.

I got to my feet, the movement, rather than my hands, pushing my chair back with a clatter.

“Alison?” said Billy. “You okay? What’s wrong?”

Sangeeta was a third of the way across and she was still coming.

I looked back at Billy. “Just give me a minute.” He started to rise. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

Billy raised both palms. “Take your time.”

I stepped toward Sangeeta and my motion stopped hers. Seconds passed as we looked at one another across the expanse, the beams crowding low above our heads, then when I saw her start to move again I closed the distance rapidly.

“Sangeeta...”

“Who are you?” she said, her voice metallic; face drawn.

“I can explain.”

“Did I see what I thought I saw?”

“Come outside and I’ll tell you.” I took her arm but she shrugged me off.

“Who’s he?” She pointed with her chin.

I didn’t answer.

“Is he your husband?”

“Sangeeta, please...”

“Just tell me what the hell is going on here.”

I looked into her eyes and then nodded simply and said, “Okay. I will. I promise. Just come outside with me.”

She held her glare on me and then threw a slice of it at Billy. Then she said, “Alright. Outside. Now.”

She turned her back on me and walked to the door. I followed her with a brief glance back at Billy, watching from his seat, mystified.

Sangeeta descended the step onto the pavement there at the corner of the road and turned to face me, folding her arms. I stopped in the doorway, unsure of myself, then joined her outside.

We neither of us spoke at first. There weren’t any conventional words to broach a topic like this. Then very quietly, Sangeeta repeated, “Did I see what I thought I saw?”

I held her gaze and then nodded. “I know it’s crazy. I wouldn’t have believed it, except...”

“You have to believe something impossible if it happens right in front of you.”

“Yeah... Exactly.”

She glared at me. I couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind but I could start to guess. Because it wasn’t as simple as the thing itself: whether Geoff and I were one and the same... There was all this other mess tangled up in it. And there was her life falling apart around her as well; something I understood all too intimately.

“I’ve heard stories,” she said. “About this town.”

I shrugged.

“When I’m doing nails. I’ve heard stuff. Similar stuff. Crazy stuff.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t explain it.”

“And so you and Geoff are... You’re one person?”

I nodded.

“A man and a woman.”

“Yes.”

“But you're so different. How can that be?”

“I change,” I said. “When I’m him I act like a man. I think like a man. Then when I become myself again... I know it’s weird. If it didn’t keep happening to me then I wouldn’t believe it.”

Her face went blank for a moment of fugue and then clicked back. “That ring. Geoff’s ring. The one I touched – that gave me the electric shock...”

I nodded again.

“I almost put it on.” She frowned. “What would have happened if I had?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve only ever worn it myself.”

“Where did you get it?”

“It doesn’t matter. From the market. It’s not some family heirloom or anything. It’s just a fluke. There’s no secret destiny or anything. It just happened and this was the result. This awful mess.”

She let her arms drop to her sides. “Then what’s real? Who were you originally? Are you the original person, or is Geoff?”

“Me,” I said, and her face fell into sorrow. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t,” she snapped. “You lied to me.”

“I know.”

“Everything was a lie.”

“I know.”

“The time we spent together when you were Geoff – you coming to see me in town as a woman. God! None of it was real!”

“No,” I said. “It was real. All of it was.”

She turned away from me. “Don’t add more lies to what you’ve already told.”

“I’m not.” I touched her arm and she pulled free again. “I swear I’m not Sangeeta. I never meant for any of it to happen but it was all true. The first time I put on the ring was an accident; I was just experimenting. Then I met you and one thing kept leading on to the next. I was enjoying myself too much to stop, even though I knew I had to. I hated that I was leading you on, but no matter how many times I pulled away I couldn’t... I couldn’t stay away. I just wanted to see you.”

She stared off and then folded her arms again. “What does it matter now anyway? Look at you. You’re a woman. You’ve always been a woman. We’ve been doomed from the beginning. You were never going to keep the ring on.”

She started to walk away but stopped when I said, “I was.”

She looked back at me. “What?”

“I was... I was thinking about it. About keeping it on. Just staying Geoff. Staying with you. I think... I think I was falling in love with you.”

Tears came to her eyes but didn’t fall.

“Not just as Geoff... as a man. Just in love with you. Whoever I was; man or woman.”

She didn’t say a thing. I didn’t know what else I could say. “And then your husband came and he wants you back,” she said.

“Yes.” I closed my eyes. “Billy came back to me and all those hopes I’d treasured – that passion I told you about... He wants to be together again. He wants things to go back to the way they were.”

She wrapped her arms round herself. The tears still wavered in her eyes, unspilled. “You can’t say no to that.”

My own tears were coming again. I didn’t know what to say to make it all better; to find the right path for everyone. It was all too impossible.

“I do understand,” she said. “Oddly. I do. Even if none of it seems real. I don’t blame you. Not really. How could you know how to act and feel with all this craziness?”

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“But you’ll understand that I have to walk away.”

I shook my head.

“Things have been going wrong for me for a long time. This crap with Rasheed and my business and now my father coming to set me straight... These are just the last things in a long line of disastrous situations.” She sighed. “Maybe I should go back to London. Or back to India. My father has lived a lot longer than me. Surely he knows more than I do. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s always been right.”

“Sangeeta...”

“You’ve got your man back Alison. Your dream has come true. That’s all that matters.”

“But you...”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll survive one way or another; I always do.” She tried a smile but the flex of her cheeks spilled the tears at last and they trickled down to her chin.

“This isn’t how I wanted it to end,” I said. “I was going to keep the ring–”

“Don’t,” she said. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s over.” She chuckled sadly. “It never really happened.” She turned her back on me. “I’ll seeya.”

“Sangeeta, wait.” I stepped after her.

“Goodbye,” she said and didn’t look back.