Monday 7 September 2015

CLEANER II: Chapter Five - Part Four



DAHLIA

I followed Melissa outside to the rear of the hotel. Again she didn’t look back at me or engage me in conversation and because we had transitioned from inside to outside I felt certain that she didn’t want me to go with her anymore. She had never taken me outside before.

I slowed down and eventually stopped and she didn’t react either way. It was like I didn’t matter. But I was also anxious that she might turn round and snap at me to catch up. Playing her part well, she could be mercurial and hostile. I didn’t want to get in trouble with her. But still, I was certain now she didn’t want me.

It was disappointing. I had… enjoyed our interaction… sort of; though it incited, as always, a range of conflicting emotions. I wanted to go with her.

Obviously I didn’t feel as though I could join her by the pool or anything – I felt deeply uncomfortable now in such surroundings. After that first day at my own hotel I had been cast solely as an employee in this kind of environment; certainly not a guest. But part of me felt wistful over the aspect of the fantasy in which I had waited on her every whim, scurrying around to fetch her things. Melissa didn’t seem interested in that aspect. She didn’t want me near her in public. She wanted me far away doing my cleaning job at my own run-down hotel.

But I was curious and I found myself following after her, hanging right back.

I wanted to watch what she got up to; to see how well she was playing the part when I wasn’t there. I some ways I felt threatened by the idea that she might be doing it well: pretending to be me. Part of me wanted to find out that she couldn’t be me as well as I could. But I’d already seen her in the hotel and up in her room. I’d seen her beauty, confidence and grace only increase. This was an exercise in likely humiliation. I wanted her to be doing badly but I believed she would be doing well. The seedy, self-destructive part of me wanted her to be performing magnificently; wanted her to be a better Dahlia than I ever was.

Melissa sauntered along the edge of the pool, her long legs glimmering in the reflected sunlight off the water’s surface, her golden curls wavering in the light breeze that came from the sea. She looked like a goddess. It was remarkable how much she had changed: how great an effect her training and studies had had on her. She moved like a dancer with careful poise and femininity. And as I’d noticed in the lift, I recognised that her body looked better now than mine had done; because of the extra shape and musculature she had.

I moved in behind a large potted plant so she wouldn’t see me, spying on her as she walked gracefully, nodding and smiling at various guests it seemed she had made a connection with.

Once upon a time I had been extremely gregarious. It was how I had been able to expand my career so quickly. But since my withdrawal from modelling and my… my parents’ deaths years earlier, I had… not felt the same level of self-confidence. I had chosen to withdraw. I had lost interest in forging those connections. That was why I had moved to Nockton Vale really; away from the big city. I had become reclusive.

That wasn’t the person I was watching here. Melissa was possessed of a generous confidence and warm affability. This place had stripped her of the inward-looking downtrodden persona she had had when I hired her as my cleaner and allowed her to replace it with something wonderful.

She was friendlier and more sociable than I had been in a long time and the people she interacted with were clearly taken with her; magnetised by her charisma. I was captivated myself, just watching her.

She was so similar to me in looks now – only those slight differences in the face. Her hair, her body, her manner: all these were as good as or better than my original state.

It made me see myself there: a homely, obese woman, huddled behind a plant, gazing enviously at her employer. Resenting her superiority? Perhaps. Wishing I could be as beautiful again; as confident and outgoing as that? Maybe.

Maybe. In a small way.

But a far more prominent part of me was afraid that I could never be that beautiful again; that I never had been in the first place. I was afraid I’d already allowed this transformation to go too far. I had already passed some point of no return.

The me I was now was anonymous. It was safe. There was no expectation on me to be glamorous. The only expectation was for me to work hard and follow orders. I clung to that.

And if I could press a button and long that way again; take on my old life and beauty? Would I do it?

Did I want to go back? Was I ready?

No. Not yet.

Not ever?

Not yet.

Melissa circled the pool and headed for the outside bar. Nervous she was going to see me, I shifted my position, moving to my right. I was afraid of being caught; of her exposing my seedy infiltration to everyone here; but I wanted to see more. I was desperate to.

And might it even be delightful if she did expose me? How might it feel if everyone around the pool was laughing at me as I scurried away in this massive, bloated form, my glasses misting up from the heat and exertion?

She got to the bar and sat down and I drew in as close as I dared as she started chatting to an attractive man seated beside her.

I was a voyeur on my own former life and I felt ashamed of that. I felt pathetic.

But that made it better. It made me want to do it more. It made me want to wallow in it.










28 comments:

  1. What an incredible chapter, almost unreal or at least sureal. Poor D. if she thinks M doesn't know she is there she is really delusional, its like pretending no to see the Hindenberg.

    So many great touches, M is popular & charming & people admire her, too bad D can't hear people at the pool call her Dahlia or Miss Western. That would be a great touch.

    But you are cheating, naughty naughty when you have D observe
    She was so similar to me in looks now – only those slight differences in the face. Her hair, her body, her manner: all these were as good as or better than my original state. ( you made it quite clear earlier on that M face features were not that close.
    I also wonder though you don't mention it, how M became so poised & graceful, did she have D train her or did she get remeber how D had moved & acted at parties in her mansion before she retired? or even if she hires someone to train her as a model or dancer? ANyway great touch, seeing M so self confident, so popular so much the eautiful, confident Dahlia Westerm the famous model? She easily hooks a handsome man at the bar

    I felt a chill here when D observes
    the seedy, self-destructive part of me wanted her to be performing magnificently; wanted her to be a better Dahlia than I ever was.
    Melissa sauntered along the edge of the pool, her long legs glimmering in the reflected sunlight off the water’s surface, her golden curls wavering in the light breeze that came from the sea. She looked like a goddess. It was remarkable how much she had changed: how great an effect her training and studies had had on her. She moved like a dancer with careful poise and femininity. And as I’d noticed in the lift, I recognised that her body looked better now than mine had done; because of the extra shape and musculature she had. & later"I was a voyeur on my own former life and I felt ashamed of that. I felt pathetic.

    But that made it better. It made me want to do it more. It made me want to wallow in it.



    Is this how you're going to work the permanent switch that Dahlia does feel like she could ever be D again, she's not worhty or couldn't even do it again, that she would look like a fool or a clumsy impersonate of of her former self & that M would be a much better Dahlia Western than she ever could again & she would feel safr & more at home, much safer as Melissa the humble cleaner?
    Also do we see the shape here perhaps of thigns to come inthe 3rd book that M is ore successful as Dahlia, than D was?

    I can't wait for more, but alsasI must. Thanks for the steady stream of chapters.



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    1. Thanks Eric.

      You may recall I mentioned that I will be adding an extra earlier chapter into the final manuscript. This will explain the extra grace that Melissa has assumed.

      I'm rereading both books at the moment and will make tweaks in the build-up to book two's climax to substantiate things. In that sense, as with Lady Ann, the final published version will be improved on the original serial.

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    2. I was just trying to befunny & kidding around on mentioning the bit about the change in your descriptions.Obviously this can be reworked in the final book publication

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  2. I also enjoyed reading the chapter though I don´t know if I would like Dahlia agreeing to a more permanent swap just because she likes M acting like D´s former self.
    I think that a continuing swap should involve some sort of trickery by Melissa instead of being the simple result of Dahlia´s "mental problems". Melissa outsmarting Dahlia, cleverly pushing her buttons, abusing her desires and kinks... That would be more believable. A little more "pushing" by M´s part would work for me as well, because D´s submissive nature would not allow that much resistance as long as the swap still seemed temporary...

    marc

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    1. Melissa has not givers up her manipulations yet...

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  3. Yes Emma.. you really are doing a terrific job here. Seems whatever your concerns were earlier in this book's genesis, they have proven unfounded. This is wonderfully erotic and really intense. I cannot wait for the next part and finished product.

    Thank you! MikeW

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  4. oh! One more thing. You have really picked up on a main theme of body swap. The voyeurism. Yes this is it, the fear that that person may be a better you than you ever were and seeing them replace you.

    In the roleplays I do in SL, this is a continual theme of excitement for those people I swap. It never fails to arouse and drive them deeper.

    As always, well done!

    Mike W

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    1. Thanks Mike.

      Yes. I like Dahlia's growing doubt in her own ability to be the best Dahlia.

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  5. Damn you Emma! I woke up in the middle of the night gasping at the shere dept of M's sinisgter plot. Now D is seeeing & feeling so far removed from her old life! Who has at M's insisted she mingle with the clearers at her CHEAP Hotel. As the delighful Maxine remarks when they meet 'Melissa' earlier she was snotty & acted like she was far above them, now HE fits right in, & mentions she was a clearner break in the UK!! & even is at the bottle of the social syanding among the cleaners. LOL OUCH! & also M inisted & D follows through thhat she have a fling with the greesy cook. A woman's self image usually is at ;east partly on what kind of man they can atttract - who does D attract & have sex with YUCK & now M can have any man she sets her eyes on. & she makes sure D sees this.
    Now M at he hotel is popular & admired as not only one of the among the wealthy elite but perhaps a cute above them. I can well image over the months M has been D there she has told stories about 'HER" earlier life traveling to Paris & Milian & New York as a model & all the rich & famous she's met taking over even D's past, & the body lanuage of I'm a cut above, which M makes sure D sees.while poor D is hang dog& in a way enjoys feeling inferior. D sees M being treated with servile respect among the POSH hotels personal, while she gets nothing but sneers & put downs. This whole world change for both of them is brilliant. & though we haven't seen it yet they are proabably now talking like eah other.
    Not sure how you willl push poor D over the last edge & end up going back to the UK as M & having the surgery. perhaps this will not be totally volentary & will involves some form of major deception & trixkery or whaevert. BUt when thy have the surgery I think it really would be impossible for D to convince anyone that she is not M. The body shape, the attitude they both exchange as well as M having all of D's most secret memories would make a pit too deep to escape from. Perhaps at one ppoint in the 3rd book you will do what you did in the original have D have a mental break down & think she really is Meliisa & that her dreams of being the rich & beautiful Dahlia Western were just a fantasy of a dieased mind?
    BUt that's for the future. Right now poor D is feeling lost & trapped in M's pitiful persona & fat ugly bodhy, thinking & wondering already can she really just go back to being D? I think & hope we're close to the climax where poor D somehow 'agrees' or is forced into a permanent swap. BRRRR!

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  6. OOOPS sorry for the length of my commennt! I just got carried away!

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    1. Phew! It's like you're writing the Cliff Notes for the book!

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  7. Wonderful as always! You inspire me to keep cranking out more stories myself!

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  8. I was wondering about this slight change of direction in the relationship between Melissa and Dahlia.

    When they first swapped, they still had their former figures and, to some extent their former appearance, except for their clothes and superficial differences. Melissa deliberately separated them to different establishments, I think so that they could more accurately take on their new personnas without being compared. Now they have crossed well past the boundaries and have totally become each other both physically and in demeanour - in fact, as Dahlia notes, she isn't even sure if she had been the better Dahlia now that Melissa has grown in confidence and reduced in size.

    So perhaps Melissa has decided to go a step further and arrange accommodation for Dahlia in her hotel as her personal maid/cleaner/assistant in a similar way to the original story. I was (am?) waiting for her to take Dahlia to get her fitted for uniforms and get her established in rudimentary staff rooms, perhaps sharing with another maid, so that she will be conveniently on call whenever required. Just as she arranged for Dahlia's job at the cheap hotel she would arrange for its end and the relocation. It would be convenient as well as the season is drawing to a close and staff reductions might be expected for the temporary cleaners.

    Whatever, this post and the previous one do seem to bemoving the story along a little. I just wonder if Katherine will show up and which 'Dahlia' she will accept as the genuine article. Or perhaps Melissa will decide it's time to return home - using each other's passports, of course, and with her in 1st class and Dahlia crammed into economy.

    Thanks, Emma

    Robyn H

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    1. Hmmm. I had planned originally for Dahlia to end up working at Melissa's hotel. Thus far it hasn't panned out that way. We'll see what develops...

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    2. If I were Melissa I would not want Dahlia to be even near me.
      Just dumping her in her run-down hotel, working under Maxine´s and the other cleaners´ thumb.
      The longer D gets stuck in her miserable new life, the easier for M to finalize their swap, making it last forever...

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    3. Yeah. You've got a point there. Though being further away makes her harder to keep an eye on.

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  9. In a strange way, this hotel's pool area would probably be more welcoming of her than the pool at her job, because here she's effectively "dahlia's" pet/property whereas at the other hotel she's a person in her own right. A pathetic one, but still a person. Humorous

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    1. Yeah. Though with her hangdog expression and fish-out-of-water body language, she obviously isn't a guest. I doubt she'd have the confidence now to sit down by the pool or order a drink... especially with Melissa there. She's too aware of her new status.

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    2. agreed. it makes me wonder if she will seek out other pillars of identity and pride: skill at cleaning, working class anger etc. and if so how long before there is nothing left of Dahlia on the inside as well?

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  10. Dahlia is walking a tightrope across a chasm. She's inches from stepping off to safety or she can turn around and go back. If she steps off, will the rope still be there when she wants to go back?
    Melissa, without the emotional burden that Dahlia carries, has become the gorgeous, gregarious woman that Dahlia wonders if she could ever be. She looks at Melissa and feels that she's looking at her own former life. Does she really see it as her 'former' life? It seems that she's starting to accept that it belongs to Melissa now and that Melissa is doing a better job at being Dahlia Western. Dahlia isn't ready to go back, but is she ready to take the next step and let Melissa truly take over her life?

    We shall see....

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  11. An interesting thought: Actually there should be some instinct of self preservation left in Dahlia causing her to ask M for ending the swap before her whole life goes irrevocably down the drain.
    Wouldn´t it be humiliating if M didn´t even listen for Dahlias pleas ... as if D wasn´t even in a position for making such demands. What if M just ignored D´s wishes and simply continued living the high life while sending D on senseless errands, thus humiliating her even further.
    Taking into account D´s submissiveness and lack of confidence I doubt that D would be able to come out on top in a battle of wills.
    marc

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    1. Yeah. It's not looking good. But you never know!

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  12. Dahlia says she needs the anonymity, she feels safe in her simplistic life cleaning and following orders. What if she convinced Katherine and Tommy to accept Melissa as Dahlia Western? To have them play along in her fantasy? They both want Dahlia to make a comeback and Melissa is poised to do it; perhaps better than Dahlia had ever been. They wouldn't have to deal with Dahlia's insecurities and lack of drive, Melissa has plenty of that.

    What will Emma pull out of her magic hat next?

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