CLEANER: Chapter Six - Part Four

DAHLIA

I took the bag into the bathroom and set it on the edge of the sink then looked at myself in the oval mirror, taking in my different features: my doe eyes; my perfect nose and bow lips; my beautifully defined cheeks.

Was I fatter now?

I wasn’t sure. Maybe. A little.

I slid my head back, trying to give myself and accentuate a double chin. There wasn’t much there. I made my cheeks smile, turning my face rounder.

There were butterflies in my stomach.

Slightly disappointed, I reached into the bag and laid out all four of the glasses cases I’d bought. One by one I clicked them open, arranging them in order by the written labels on each one. Four identical pairs of glasses, all as similar in style to Melissa’s original spare pair as I could get. At a glance there was no difference.

I lifted her spares up and put them on, becoming functionally blind right away, then pulled them off again. I replaced them with the pair at the opposite end of the spectrum, hesitating with some trepidation before slipping them into place.

The bathroom instantly became warped and bleary, but not so badly that I couldn’t see well enough.

I could see myself; make out my features. I could read the larger lettering on the cleanser bottle next to the tap. It was weird, but far better than wearing Melissa’s actual spectacles. This made the world look different; almost like my perceptions had been chemically altered. Were there drugs that could make me see like this?

For the first time I was looking at myself with glasses on, oddly bleary though the image was, and seeing myself like that sent a hot streak of moisture through my crotch.

I was wearing glasses and I could see through them.

I looked down at my body and the shift in warped perspective made me dizzy. It was crazy. But I loved it. I experimented further, holding my hands out on front of me; reading what I could of the labels. It was deformed but I could actually make out the words better in a certain way.

I took the glasses off and my vision remained blurred for a split second before it readjusted. That instant was enough to increase the tingles down below.

I put them back on. Waited. Took them off. Blinked. Imagine not being able to see properly when I took them off. Imagine having to wear them all the time.

I slid my finger along the row of different frames, each one with lenses thicker than the last: a study in how to ruin my eyes, one step at a time.

It was ludicrous. Really. I couldn’t actually do it. Imagine if I really wrecked my vision! It would be truly moronic.

But just imagine if I really wrecked my vision and had to wear thick glasses all the time!

I rubbed my legs together, smiling.

I left the glasses on when I left the bathroom but I packed all the other pairs away and hid them in one of my drawers.

Walking downstairs was amazing; like I was in another world! It was like the planet was covered in a sea of treacle; thickened air that I could still somehow move through freely.

I went into the kitchen and cooked myself a meal, keeping the glasses on, trying to concentrate on seeing through them, teaching my eyes to do it properly. It was so interesting; so absorbing.

I considered putting on the wig as well; one of the new uniforms I’d bought; but that didn’t feel right – not when I was alone. I felt strange doing the glasses by myself.

The meal didn’t take too long. It was bratwurst and pureed potato with a little rocket and onion. There was enough for two meals but after a moment’s consideration I scooped it all onto my plate and carried it through to the dining room.

The table in there was darkly lacquered, shining back the reflected electric chandelier.

I sat alone, eating, thinking about the following morning and about the gardening I would have to add to my list of duties. There wouldn't be a lot to be done but certainly my cleaning duties would now have to cover the outdoors.

For some reason I felt off but I couldn’t put my finger on why. My mind kept coming back to it: that discomfort. It took me several minutes to put my finger on it.

It was the big room. The opulence. I’d been imagining myself into Melissa’s life so much, it felt weird now to be sitting here like queen of the castle.

I even wondered if...

Maybe I should go and eat in the kitchen. Or in the cleaning cupboard.

The very idea was ludicrous, but I was tempted.

Another smile curled my lip.

I started to rise, lifting my plate.

Then the doorbell went and I stopped where I was.

Looked toward the hall.

Looked at the clock.

Looked back toward the hall.

Then I set the plate back flat and stood up.