Thursday 24 March 2016

CLEANER II: Chapter Six - Part Seven

MELISSA

I needed to fuck somebody and I needed to do it now.

The deep darkness between my legs was rippling with arousal and I needed to act on it immediately. And not just because I was horny as hell. I had a compulsion to do it that was beyond any desire just to scratch an itch or resolve the pent-up tension that had built before and during Dahlia’s visit. I wasn’t sure what it was but I needed to get out there.

I kept on the translucent silk robe and bathing suit and slipped on some cream wedges then took the lift down to the lobby and made my way round outside. I strode along determinedly and I could see the looks I got of admiration and wonder. I was an attractive athletic woman and my long stride was both feminine and wholly confident. There wasn’t anything about me now that insinuated my old self. I wasn’t wholly Dahlia – I knew that – but this me was only a hair’s breadth away from that image. If anything I was more like the original Dahlia than she had been prior to the swap.

When she first approached me to exchange she wasn’t the vivacious, self-assured celebrity she had once been. She was a shy recluse suffering from increasing depression; maybe even anxiety; and possibly even a smidgeon of agoraphobia. She had been making a show of going back into the limelight but it was clear to me now that this whole endeavour was an attempt to escape from that life she felt she ought to recapture. She didn’t want to be famous again. Quite the opposite. She wanted to disappear into the cracks where nobody knew her and there was no longer any pressure to excel. There were other factors; her brother’s death being a big one that nudged her over the edge; but when it came down to it, becoming me for her was about getting away from being her. I just happened to be there and I happened to be a willing participant.

Maybe there was a little more to it than that – perhaps there had to be – but as far as I cared about, that was the element that applied to me.

I went out into the sunshine and went over to the pool bar; ordered an extravagant cocktail. It wasn’t for Dutch courage – I didn’t need that anymore – it was because I wanted the sweet taste, and because it was part of the image. I leaned back, crossed my legs seductively, and waited to reel a man in. There were half a dozen possible around the pool, of which two were preferable. Right now it was about getting laid. I didn’t really care who it was. Their character was entirely irrelevant. I wanted someone rich like I was right now and someone chiselled: someone I could never have netted in my old life.

That made me smirk. I couldn’t have netted any man in my old life. I was a disgusting fat heifer with less sex appeal than a desiccated corpse.

It came to me suddenly why I was doing this and my smirk became a self-deprecatory smile.

This was about proving I could do this. To myself. That I had the power to do this. 

I had made my gambit with Dahlia and she had tried to put up a wall of resistance. Hell, she had told me what she wanted first: to go back to her old life!

Hearing her do that had filled me with something close to terror. She was threatening my entire future with her whimsy and that made me angry, hateful and bitter. Why should she get to choose? She had thrown away her life of wealth and beauty. It was mine now. What right did she have to claim back the life I had been given? It wasn’t fair. She didn’t deserve it. Not like I did.

I had made something of this life; more than she had. I had done far better than she ever could. She had started off slim and beautiful. She had been born into the riches and brought up to manage them. I had had to fight for all of that. I had had to change my body from obese to athletic under only the force f my own will.

It was maybe a little fucked up, but that was why I was here by the pool; to prove to myself and anyone watching that I could do anything I wanted; anything that she could have. I could have a gorgeous man anytime I chose.

And it didn’t make me a slut that it was only about sex and power. It didn’t matter that I’d been with dozens of different men in the past couple of months – no strings attached. The only reason Dahlia had shirked the company of males was because she was messed up. She hadn’t possessed the confidence I did for years.

I stewed for a little while, feeling antsy. For some reason I was angry at myself but I didn’t know why.

It was angst. It had to be. I’d made my play to snatch and keep hold of this life and Dahlia had surprised me by having enough gumption left to fight for it. She was crazy enough to want to keep my shitty old life but she hadn’t been as crushed as I thought. She really had planned to go back. I hadn’t really anticipated or planned for this kind of resistance. I honestly didn’t know which way she’d go and that scared me. After all these months of being the one in control it felt like I’d used up my chance to persuade or dominate her. Now all the decision-making power fell to her. I didn’t like that. It made me want to chase after her to her hotel and apply more pressure than I had.

|But that didn’t feel right. Not now. Not yet. She needed to have some time to stew in her juices. Because surely at the end of the day her own fear had to be reasserting itself; her own resistance to going back. I didn’t need to persuade her. She would persuade herself.

I hoped.

I downed the rest of my cocktail; not like a cultured lady but like a wino, desperate for the hit; then I ordered a second one the same.

I sighed, lowering my head, turning my knees and shoulders inward, feeling low.

Then I thought, no. No way.

I wasn’t going to get depressed. That was the kind of thing that she did. I wasn’t going to sink to her level. I was the better woman by far. I was going to win this by force of character.

I straightened in my seat, raising my chin. I took a demure sip of my fresh cocktail and made myself smile. I crossed my legs again to set my bait then I glanced to my left.

A gorgeous, hunk of a man was watching me slyly: one of the two I most wanted to have my way with. I didn’t avert my eyes shyly. I maintained eye contact and then very deliberately gave him a smile. Then I tipped my glass. Then I turned back to the bar and ignored him.

I was going to win this. I was going to beat her. I was a better Dahlia than she had ever been. There was no way she would stand up to me now. This life was going to be mine if I had to fight to my dying breath.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the man get to his feet and start to saunter my way.

I smiled to myself and took another sip, uncrossing and recrossing my long legs.





19 comments:

  1. Yet another wonderful episode! Thank you!

    Melissa has obviously been rattled and a bit surprised by the fight that Dahlia has left in her. She also seems to want or need to prove something to herself and rebuild her own shaken confidence. Seems like she's doing just that!

    It's funny that she started resenting Dahlia for having what she couldn't have and now, she resents her for wanting it back.

    Does Melissa have Dahlia figured out? Will it allow her to take control and steer Dahlia's fantasy to where she wants it to go?

    Hmmm...we shall have to wait to find out!

    Great job, Emma!

    --Robert

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    1. Thanks Robert!

      Yeah, Melissa has got as many issues as Dahlia, just manifesting in a different way.

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    2. It seems that Melissa is trying to figure out Dahlia's motivation for this swap. She also wants to prove to herself that she is the better incarnation of Dahlia Western. It bolsters her confidence to confront the real Dahlia, a confidence that was rattled when Dahlia suggested an end to the swap. It showed her that Dahlia was still very much in control and she now resents it. She feels that she has shed nearly every bit of the 'old Melissa' and she's one minuscule step away from being completely Dahlia Western. She feels she deserves the life that Dahlia has seemingly tossed away and resents the fact that Dahlia has the audacity to think she has a right to take it back.

      Can she break Dahlia's will and trap her in her new life as Melissa?

      --Robert

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    3. It must be very frustrating to her that she doesn't have total control.

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  2. Than ks for such a quick update. To be honest tome it was a little disapointing. More of a bridge, tread water chapter.
    I like the bit about D not deserving this life anymore. M equates being able ot attract hot men as being more D while D as the new M couldn't get any half way desirable man,
    She could maybe have continued to plan
    "Perhaps some if worse coem to worse poor 'Melissa Chapman' will have to go over the rail of my penthouse. WHo would be surprised if such a worthless, fat hog of a destitute cleaner would committ sucide. She sure doesn't have any thing to livefor. LOL! I dont want to do it, but I will I'll kill to keep this life! I could even write a touching sucide note before hand. I don't want to do it, it would be much better if the stupid bitch just took on her apointed role as Melissa! She should go back to living in that hovel in Barton with HER brutal husband.

    Another thought M has turned into a promiscus kinda of slutty woman, dozzens of men since being slim & beautiful & rich. I wonder if this new attitude will bit her in the ass later back in England? The original D was hardly a slut!

    During your rewrite you might wan to have M comment contemprously on D eventaking up smoking & maybe making her use the balcony when she wants a ciggerette when visiting.

    Anyway, thanks again for the update. I can't wait, like most of your other fans for when D gives in & has the surgery.
    PLS Continue to get better.

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    1. Heh heh. Thanks Eric. I can always rely on you for your candour.

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  3. They're a strange couple, Melissa and Dahlia, and Emma's graphic writing makes them fascinating and story so addictive. They're both sad cases but in different ways.

    Melissa has taken to the life of her former employer like a duck to water. Unfortunately she doesn't really appreciate what the life she's taken over really means. It's rather like the difference between aristocrats and the nouveau riche. Ideally (though not always) the former carry their good fortune and privilege with style and grace whist the latter tend to extravagance and showy poor taste (my prejudices are showing a little). Melissa thinks the way she's behaving is natural to her newly achieved good fortune and position. It isn't. I suspect, even her pomp when she was full of self confidence, Dahlia never behaved in the crass way Melissa is now. In her need for admiration and worship (something she's never had before) she over steps the boundaries in her search for male adoration and her own gratification. It makes her as interesting as Dahlia is in her need for humiliation and scorn.

    How this will play out is in Emma's hands but it seems to me that neither will end up well. Melissa will be unable to continue her pretence once she starts to move in what were once Dahlia's social, domestic and professional circles. Dahlia will find herself trapped in a cycle of self hate and eventually the sexual kick she gets from her fall will fade. When that finally happens either she will make the effort to regain her former self in some form (as in the original story) or will kill herself by destroying her health.

    It's a wonderful saga and how it all ends and mainly the route it takes to get there is what drives me to savour every episode.

    Robyn H

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    1. I'm glad you like both character's plot threads. I'll try not to disappoint.

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    2. I read an opinion piece by Hadley Freeman (a New Yorker who spends most of her time in the UK) in the Guardian this morning. It was about Donald Trump and it reminded me of Melissa somehow LOL Although of course Trump didn't exactly start out as poor as Melissa.

      Robyn H

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  4. First a word on Triumph & the hilarious comparison to Melissa.Then back to Emma's fascinating story.

    He had a first rate education in the best business school in the world ( rated so by among other the Finanacial Times) was successful in business & made over a billion dollars) what have any of the canidates done accept being - as it were on the public dole. LOL DOn't misundertand me I am not a Trumph fan, but give someone his or her due!
    But it was intertesting to see how Triumph is viewed elsewhere.

    Now Melissa is & always was poor, felt ugly, had no sense of self worth, was brutalized by kids & her mom when young, & now by the world including her husband, works in the lowest profession of cleaners, no wonder she hates poor D so & wants to be her. Not only be her but even turn D into her. Wonderfully well told story As Maxine says to poor D "who would you rather be a rich, beautiful model?" That should chill D to the bone & then Maxine goes on to say some are born beautiful & the rest of us to clean up after them." What a fascinating tale of madness not only obviously on D;s part but also on M's! I am like a bird fascinated by a snake reading this story, but somehow can't stop. I'd love to feel more for D that I do, but its hard to be too smypathic to a person throwing everything away.

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  5. Someone mentioned that your latest chapter remembered him a little bit of "treading water".
    If that is true I should tread water more often... ;-)
    No, really...
    I don`t know why but I really like your Melissa chapters the most.
    This one was fantastic as well.
    Learning more about M`s ambitions, noticing her self-absorbed attitude and realizing that she would sell her own grandmother if necessary was like reading the mind of Maleficent, Cruella de Ville or some other villainess who just popped out of some fairy tale.
    As we all know these kind of egocentric vixens are always destined to utterly fail in the end, suffering a terrible fate while the beautiful princess manages - against all odds - to rise to her former glory.
    I really really really really really really hope it might be different here, that you will spare us a "living together happily ever after".
    I wonder if the Evil Queen`s Magic Mirror could declare - this time - Melissa as the fairest of them all...until the very end.

    (evil laugh)

    Marcus

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    1. I do occassionally do a happily ever after if the situation warrants it but I can't see these two living happily together ever.

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  6. I love the brittleness of her self image. a moment's doubt is almost enough to cause it all to come crashing down. she has the will to keep it or does she? could it all be in her head a delusion in its own way as severe as the original Dahlia's escapism? who knows? Emma does. thanks again for a great chapter.

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    1. Melissa is as messed up as Dahlia in my opinion.

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    2. ... and, of course, your opinion rules. We innocent readers merely speculate :)

      Robyn H

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    3. another angle of that same idea I like is that it makes her more like Dahlia.

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    4. Yes. They mirror one another a little.

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