Golden Gloom - RICH - Part Three

A Visit from the Police

  9

RICKY

I could tell from the look on Jane’s face that she knew how bad it was as much as I did.

We’d checked out our escape routes when we drove in and there weren’t any. Simple as. The grounds were bordered on three sides by other properties with high walls and thick foliage. The only half decent route out was through the front gate and that was blocked by the pig.

“He saw I was in here,” said Jane, “If we just sit here then he’s going to get suspicious. He may already know that the owners are away.”

“What are we gonna do?”

“Go to fucking prison if we aren’t careful.”

“Oh shit!” I could feel the tension scratching up my spine and into my head, down toward my eyes. “That can’t happen. We’ve gotta run out the back and get into next door’s garden. We’ve gotta go now!”

“No. Stop a second,” said Jane. “Calm down. We can sort this out easily; think about it.”

“What?”

“We just have to change back and let him in – fob him off with some bollocks.”

I looked back up at the picture of the couple, my stomach cramping.

“We don’t even both have to change,” she said. “I can do it. You can just hide.”

The bell from the gate rang again.

“Fuck!”

“Listen,” said Jane. “Just simmer down. We have to do this fast. You get out of the way. I’m going to transform again.”

“Into that bloke?”

“Fuck no. That was weird. No. Into the wife. I’ll make up some crap about something and get rid of him.”

This was fucked up. It really was fucked up, and I needed a damn fix. We were supposed to be out of here with all the cash we needed by now. We were supposed to be clear. It wasn’t fucking fair. This shouldn’t have been happening! “He’s goingto realize something’s wrong,” I said. “He’s going to rumble us and then we’re going straight to prison, and this time we ain’t getting out. We are fucked!”

“Just calm down!” snapped Jane, grabbing my arms. “Cool off. I need quiet if I’m going to do this. I need you to shut up. Alright?”

I nodded.

“Alright Ricky?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Now get out of the way. I have to concentrate.”

  10

Jane

I felt weird doing this again, knowing this time what would happen, but it was the simplest choice. Making a run for it was all well and good but even if we got clear we would still have wasted this opportunity. Staying inside and braving it out had to be the best choice.

I made sure I was well clear of the window then closed my eyes tight shut and visualized the woman from the painting that Ricky had become before, not feeling comfortable at all about turning into the bloke again. I imagined being a rich housewife and told myself how great it would be and then tried to pick out physical qualities about her that I admired. Which was easier said than done. She was chubby and twenty years older than I was. And she was blind as a bat.

The pressure didn’t help. I knew I had to do this quickly but thinking that made it harder to do. Any minute now, the policeman was going to do something drastic and then it really would be too late.

I want to be a rich housewife, I thought to myself. I want to be married to that rich dude.

“Nothing’s happening,” said Ricky.

“I know nothing’s happening dipshit,” I snapped, opening my eyes. “It’s the housewife thing. I always vowed I’d never be someone’s pretty little trophy housewife. I didn’t want to waste my life.”

“How is loafing around all day drinking cocktails and clothes shopping a waste of a life?”

“It just is, okay? I wanted to do something important with my life!”

“Like robbing houses?”

“No! Like fucking—”

“What?”

I rubbed deep vertical lines up the centre of my forehead, trying to relieve the tension build-up. “Like working in stock and shares,” I said. “Being big in the business world.” I pointed up at the painting, at the husband with his stocky body and balding head. “Like him. Like that fat fucker up there.”

“Then…” Ricky looked unsure.

“I have to change back into him,” I said. “That’s the only thing that’s going to work.”

Ricky glanced out the window. “Well hurry the fuck— Shit me.”

“What?”

“He’s coming. He’s got the gate open somehow.”

“They must have given the police the code. Shit.”

“He’s coming up the drive,” said Ricky, panicking. “You have to do it now!”

“Alright. Just shut up and let me think for fuck’s sake. Get in back.”

Ricky withdrew and I closed my eyes again, thinking of the man this time and how I’d always wanted to get respect; to be important; to make decisions people listened to; to have an effect on people’s lives that actually mattered; to be looked up to and admired.

The light dimmed on the other side of my eyelids and I felt the warm ripples on my flesh as I turned my mind to thinking about what it had felt like to be him: how strangely comforting it had been to be so tall and broad, how rich my voice had been.

There was a slight queasiness that came and went and then a shudder ran through me and my balance altered.

The light grew brighter and I opened my eyes and I was him. I was the man. And I found myself smiling as I looked down at the suit and the portly torso. It felt strangely comfortable. It felt… right.

“It worked,” I said and enjoyed the deeper sound of my manly voice, the greater resonance of it; its power.

The doorbell rang and I heard an expletive from where Ricky was hiding but the panic I’d been feeling was gone. I felt calm. I felt fine actually. This was just a situation that needed dealing with. There was no need to let my emotions get the better of me. I was equipped to handle the circumstances and I felt confident I’d be able to.

It felt… nice.

The doorbell rang one more time and I strode toward it smiling, sure I could get rid of the policeman easily and get on with robbing this place.

  11

Jane

When I opened the door the policeman seemed taken aback. I warmly smiled at him and said, “Good afternoon officer, how may I help you?”

That wasn’t the way I normally talked but it was easy to pretend with this voice and body, knowing I looked to him like a wealthy businessman.

“Er, good afternoon Mr Hawthorne.” He floundered for a moment. “I’m sorry to bother you but we received a call from one of your neighbours saying that they saw two strangers driving in through the gate a while ago; in your BMW.”

This was very bad – the neighbours might be able to ID me and Ricky – but I didn’t show any reaction. My mind was racing along, coming up with quick responses, testing each possible lie for weakness before dropping it out. “Ah. That explains something then at least. and it explains how the car got back here.”

“Sir, I’m surprised to find you in I have to say. Aren’t you supposed to be on a plane right now?”

“And I would have been… if I hadn’t decided to go back to where we parked the car. When I found that it had gone we decided to postpone the trip. Came back here.”

“Did you call the police?”

“Not immediately.” My nerves took a little spike but I was used to lying my way out of things. “I was going to do that shortly. Of course we found some damage when we got back – to the car as well as some of the house contents.”

“Can I see?”

“Er…” I thought of Ricky hiding in the back of the house. “Of course. Come in.”

“Thank you sir.”

I stepped out of the way allowing him to pass, quite liking being called sir as well as the general level of respect the officer was giving me. I’d never been treated like that by a policeman or anyone in authority. I’d been a bit of rough from an early age. It was really nice to suddenly be talked to in such a different way.

He walked into the hallway and started to wander right, pausing when he saw the broken picture impaled on top of its plant. I caught a chuckle when I saw it and he glanced back at me a split second after I managed to straighten my face. As he looked away again I grinned.

“We’ll need to come back later sir,” he said, “to take prints.”

“Of course.”

“From the description the neighbor gave me I have a fairly strong suspicion who at least one of the intruders might be.”

I tensed slightly. “Who?”

“Nobody you’d know personally sir, living in this area.”

I gave a little chortle that startled me because it was nothing like my normal laugh. The sound of it fit my new form perfectly.

“If it’s who I think it might be then the other person in the car that the neighbor didn’t see is undoubtedly his girlfriend.”

“Mmmm?” I shifted uncomfortably as he went on looking.

“We’ve had… encounters with the pair before. But this time I think it’ll stick.”

This was bad; it was very very bad, but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel a bit detached from that worry, still enjoying the respect he was giving me; the way he kept calling me sir. I really didn’t know why but it felt great.

The police officer wandered on into the house and I followed him, but as I walked my eyes flicked left and right for signs of Ricky, worried that he’d let himself be seen because he was so strung out.

Lying myself out of that one was going to be tricky… or impossible. And that wouldn’t leave me with many other options.

Certainly none that I liked.