Friday, 31 July 2015

CLEANER II: Chapter Four - Part Eleven


It was a relief as always when my evening shift was over and I could settle down to eat myself. Serving the hotel’s guests was trying at the best of times – they could be very rude – but standing over all that food when my stomach ached to be filled was a painful experience.

My appetite was bigger now than it had ever been in my life. I was voracious. I needed to consume massive amounts at mealtimes and between meals I craved snack after snack: items I had to secrete in my apron, in the pockets of my uniform’s skirt or on my cleaning trolley. And the snacks weren’t healthy – of course they weren’t; nothing was in this absurd venture of mine – they were greasy pastries or crisps of sweets, cake or chocolate. My obsession with Coca-Cola had been nascent in England. Now I couldn’t help myself. I always had a bottle on the go unless I was on the hard stuff. I couldn’t openly drink alcohol while I was working (though more than half of the other cleaners did it on the sly) but I did sometimes tuck a little bottle into one of the toilet rolls.

I carried two mounded up platefuls of food through to the break room and tucked in. I’d found it was far easier to have two plates initially to save time on having to go back through to fetch more. The hotel guests were only allowed smallish plates for their buffet to restrict how much they could get in one go. As a member of staff I had access to some of the larger plates in the kitchen. I had two of these fully stacked with meat and carbohydrates and generously topped off with a variety of succulent sauces.

The other cleaners were in there eating and Maxine beckoned me over. “Come sit with us Little Piggy.”

There were giggles all round but I went over anyway, blushing, feeling they were making fun of me but wanting to be included more than I cared about that. With my increasing weight and the transformative effect it had had on my self-image and confidence, I was getting used to feeling as though people looked down on me now.

“We’ll be playing poker after we’ve eaten,” said Maxine. She chuckled. “Though by the look of it, you might still be eating. You’ll have to join us when you’ve finished.”

The girls all laughed and my face coloured more deeply. I smiled politely.

“You know when you started here, I got the impression you were right stuck up,” she said. “Like you was better than us – or thought you were.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t panic Piggy.” She smirked. “I don’t think that now. Now I reckon you’ve accepted that you ain’t nothing special here. You’re one of us. I mean look at you.” She gestured. “You must be two stone heavier than when you arrived, at least! You ain’t in a position to think you’re better.”

“No,” I said, but my voice was tiny. I cleared my throat. “No,” I said again.

She was right. She was right about everything. It made me feel glad, that I was following Mellissa’s instructions well; that I wouldn’t let her down. It made me shiver with arousal at the capitulation to this crass woman; to accept that she was on my level or even better than me. In my old life she would have been beneath notice. It also made me feel scared and alone; to long for Melissa’s company. When I was with her then this was just a game we were playing; two friends on a crazy adventure. Here, treated like the fat woman I looked, it felt too real.

“Where are you from anyway?” asked Maxine. “What part of the UK?”

“Uh, Nockton,” I said. I thought about Melissa’s life; the recordings I was listening to. “Well... Barton,” I corrected. “I live there... with my husband Robert.”

It felt oddly nice to say that, though the idea of living in the squalor of Barton for real was dreadful and was never going to happen.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just a working holiday,” I said. “I, uh, wanted a change of scene for a while.”

“What do you do back in England?”

I’m a retired model planning a comeback.

“I’m just a cleaner there too,” I said. “I do various houses and a school as well. No different from here really.”

“You see girls,” said Maxine, turning to the other cleaners. “I told you she’s alright now that she’s stopped being snooty.”

I closed my eyes and smiled, relieved.

“Ere,” said Maxine, offering me an open pack of cigarettes. “Want one?”

I faltered. “Uh...”

I didn’t smoke. I had no desire to. Melissa didn’t smoke so it wasn’t even something I should aspire to to complete my disguise. But Maxine was offering and I had the feeling it was another test; to see whether I was really willing to play the game the same way they all played it.

I looked down at my food and vacillated further. “Maybe when I’ve finished eating,” I said.

Maxine smirked. “Sure thing Little Piggy. I’ll hold you to it.”


  1. Hey wait a minute... smoking.... How will she find the energy and the breath to exercise all her weight off when she decides to end this silly game? She will be even more exhausted... and distracted...She better turn back soon or it will be too late!!

    1. Indeed. She's falling down the rabbit hole without a map.

  2. Hey remember when Dahila stormed over to Melissa's hotel, determined to end the experiment immediately? How Dahila bristled with anger seeing Melissa ignoring her messages while lounging by the pool? What happened to that Dahila? It might be nice to see her pop up from time to time now... The little details like smoking are just wonderful!

  3. Here is a link to some great celebrity weight gain morphs if you still have trouble picturing how Dahila looked before and after. The Alyssia Milanno before/ afters are my favorites!

  4. Key sentence for me: like the fat woman I looked. Not the fat woman I was.

    :-) This is what I love about this, she still does not accept the reality and you keep dropping that over the story, which builds the excitement so much.


  5. Intertsting chapter carris us along further into D's madness & new life than she some how accets without too much question, still iignoring her dream
    Thugh well wrtten it some how lacks the power of many of the earlier parts. Its more of a simple here's what lfe is like for D now with imput from HER peersm, he other cleaers, OICH! Where in the beginning she looked down ofn them still seeingherself as a member of the upper clsses ubconsciouslessly, but np longer.
    here were many telling points.

    ironic foreshadowing D thinking she would never live in Brokston, when she proably will end up living in M's hovel with her brunken brute of a husband while the teal M lives in luxury in D's former mansion
    It felt oddly nice to say that, though the idea of living in the squalor of Barton for real was dreadful and was never going to happen.
    Chilling the bit that now Maxine says Faty fits right in now, & D's telling them M's memories & life, with a husband ROBERT & cleaning houses & schools.

    WOW! the bit of D's now Vorous appetite, complisuve eating & now she is sneaking drinks like HER PEERS, OTHER cleaners.

    She accxects the nanme piggy.

    A very telling point that in the beginning they thought D is snoby with a better than you attitude, but now this s GONE & she fits right in she is now one tof THEM! Brrrrr1

    OUCH funny that D still thinks M her friend & nlly feels comfortable with her.

    Since she is trying to be M & M doesn't smoke I hope D doesn't do it, but I can how this would be another trip into oblivion. Its a LOT easy to start en stop.

    Looking forward to more

    1. Wow! I can always rely on you for a thorough breakdown Eric.

      You've laid it out well.

    2. I like chapters like the current one because showing what life is for Dahlia is necessary for the overall quality of the story.
      Without these chapters the story would be reduced on the diverse meetings with Melissa.
      Seeing how M and D spend their "holidays" in Greece also helps significantly in building up the suspense regarding the protagonists´next "showdown".

      That Dahlia still thinks of everything being just a game is amazing ... in a tragic kind of way. Take your time to make her realize what she has done.

      I really do hope, though, that you will take your time as well to present us a disillusioned and remorseful D, completely shattered under M´s thumb and utterly humiliated.

      And I really need to renew my appeal to you about reconsidering the story´s finale because I would not really enjoy reading two or three chapters with a disillusioned D before she suddenly adjusts to her new life in record time and manages to change everything (including M´s brute husband) for the best.
      What I would really like to see is D´s reaction to a Melissa accomplishing successes in the supermodel world that were always impossible for D to achieve. This would be the final straw that breaks the camel´s back. D´s former cleaner now not only "the better woman" but also more worthy of the supermodel life that D sacrificed voluntarily.
      I know, I know... There is an original story. But it´s my hope that dies last... ;-)


    3. Well... We'll see. Most of the feedback I get asks for a darker ending. Maybe I should listen to it.

    4. I think the story does call for a dark ending, too. But you could see use much of your original ending say have the new DAHLIA is busted for drugs, has to ho tot jail for say a month & loses 'her' rep as a squeaky clean model, but still has plenty of work, partlially do her skilled manipulations of others & maybe sexual favors to high ups?. K wonders what happened to D but puts it down to losing her brother & that dreadful cleaner Melissa! The new M could well get along better with Robert & since she somehow knows a secret safe or something steals enough to start a low end business or something near the end.
      I do like the origingal ending where D would accept being M & uses the learned memories as her's now, to complete her retreat from reality, thinkign no way would a beautiful model want to be me! God, what wouldn't I give to be as rich & beautiful as Miss Western! I would love to have a scene like in her dream that 'Meiissa' is cleaning in the school! Chilling.
      But what the hell do I know? I can't wait for more. I can't remember any story that has been more fascinating or what will happen next then this one.

    5. Thanks Eric. That's lovely to hear.

      We'll see how things develop. There will certainly be very dark elements.

  6. "ah dark mother once again I suckle at your smoky teat"

    1. (Giggle)

      I couldn't resist. I really shouldn't have.

    2. nonsense. its only one after all (evil chuckle)

    3. though they are supposed to limit appetite, but I don't think Dahlia need concern herself about that.

    4. Heh heh. Nothing will stop that now!

  7. two stones? from her description I figured it was more?

    1. her weight gain. figuring starting out at 5' 8" and 120 pounds going up call it 30 pounds to 150, which is heavier, but not ludicrous. yet others are treating her as much fatter, ("piggy" etc)

    2. It's still a 25% increase in weight which is quite significant. Though if she was under 9 st (120 lbs/ 50kg) at 5'8" then she'd be quite skinny to start with, 150lbs is still below 11 st so she wouldn't be noticeably fatter than average and not really enough to earn her new name. I expect a lot of her weight increase would be muscle because she's doing a hard physical job.

      Perhaps the figures need to be revised to reflect the thrust of the story. I think I agree with John ;) However I'm happy to be led by our intrepid author. She can do no wrong *whistles tunelessly*

      Robyn H

    3. please forgive me if I implied anything else. Emma's writing is the literary equivalent of Chocolate, delicious, highly addictive and apparently good for the heart.

    4. Hey!

      So when I do the pre-publishing rewrite I'll give this some extra thought. Bear in mind I'll also be adding in at least one interim chapter.

      Something else to bear in mind is that Dahlia put on a substantial amount of weight before she left England. Since then, all the time in Greece purposely weight gaining with multiple portions of all you can eat buffet several times every day plus snacks and alcohol on top.. I think a lot of weight could be added in that time, certainly enough to be porky enough to be called Little Piggy.

      But I'll review it anyway. Thanks for the feedback. You could very well be right.

    5. I forgot about the pregreece weight gain.