CLEANER II: Chapter One - Part One

A New Identity

DAHLIA

When the door opened on the aeroplane and I made my way to the exit; when I stepped outside onto the top step of mobile staircase and felt the heat envelop me and go in one gasping rush into my lungs; I recognised the tension I'd been feeling right up both sides of my back and down the rear of each arm, even in a star across the back of my skull: felt it crackle and intensify, causing a wince.

For one moment I closed my eyes, as the stress that had been cultivating within me for weeks; maybe years; inserted painful fingers into my brain and squeezed. Then a sigh came out of me that was taken from greater depths than any I could remember, and all that tension rustled up and out of me, shuddering my body from top to toe. Then it was gone.

I opened my eyes again, feeling the high temperature brush my eyeballs, and I smiled. That trouble was behind me now. We were here. I didn’t have to worry about it again. Not for a long, long time.

A little bump came behind me and I half turned my head. Melissa was at my rear, gazing past my shoulder at the dazzling runway, the clear blue sky. The thick lenses of her glasses reflected the brightness, blanking out her eyes, but I could tell she was captivated and school-girl-excited. I’d never seen her so happy and it was such a profound comparison to the way she’d looked two nights earlier on the side of the Banbury Way when I’d found her drenched and bedraggled in the rain.

The plane ride hadn’t been easy for her. She got travel sick and her weight didn’t help in the narrow seats. Already the sweat was starting to build on her round cheeks, pinprick specs of moisture forming on her hanging double chin. She didn’t care though. She gave me a grin and I grinned back, surprising myself and grinning even more broadly at the realisation.

We’d really done it. We’d really come here.

When Melissa had suggested it it had seemed such an impossible step; a fantasy that could never become real. When I had told her I wanted to take it even further; to make myself look just like her; to swap places as long as we were abroad; as the words fell out of me; even then I hadn’t believed it would really come to pass.

But steps had been taken. With Melissa’s enthusiastic acceptance and helpful encouragement, we had made the arrangements quicker than I could have expected; booked our flights, bought the clothes we would need to start. Melissa was so helpful. She’d been even keener than I was to get things organised and with the... trouble I’d had with my assistant Katherine, it had been exactly what I’d needed.

The people in front of me had cleared far enough down the staircase to allow Melissa and me to descend and we both gazed about us at the bright concrete buildings and expansive space, taking in the sudden step in temperature. It was nothing new to me of course – I’d travelled extensively – but for Melissa, on her income, it was all new.

We walked side by side toward the waiting shuttle bus that was already rapidly filling up. Another one was on its way across the tarmac and we decided to wait for that rather than squashing on the first one. We stood watching the first closing its doors and pulling away, then we turned to one another.

We didn’t say anything at first; just looked; then we smiled.

“We’ll check into the first hotel and get settled,” I said, “then we’ll head down to the bar and get something to eat.”

Melissa nodded.

“Then we’ll find a quiet corner of the bar and work out between us exactly how we’re going to do this. Okay?”

She nodded again, her smile splitting to show grinning teeth. “I can’t wait to get started.”

The other bus was pulling to a stop in the space the first one had stood. Melissa started to walk toward it but I stood still, just for a moment, watching her go and wondering if we were doing the right thing. If I was doing the right thing.

It felt right. It really did. But I knew how close to losing my mind I had been. How could I be sure that any decision I made was entirely rational?